Turbo: Power Rangers [VHS]

If you're five to eight years old, get with some of your buddies, eat two bowls of Fruity Pebbles, scarf three packets of Pop Rocks, and snap your synapses into Power-Ranger Elysium with Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie. If you're a parent and you don't know a Zord from a Zordon, get ready for one and a half hours (yep, one and a half hours) of enough mass marketing and mindless mayhem to destroy any resistance to the overt "buy this toy" messages contained therein. The evil Divatox, a busty space "piratess," kidnaps two former Power Rangers and it's up to the new Rangers to save their friends from becoming human sacrifices to an evil monster. The Rangers' leader, Zordon (who thinks up these names?), gives the new crew added "turbo" powers and presents them with their new Zords--turbo-powered cars. What's never explained is why there are former Power Rangers: do they get drummed out for not morphing (or morphing too much), or do the Rangers maintain the same policy as the once-famous Latino pop band, Menudo (replacing members once they get too old). There's an inordinate amount of the fake kung-fu kicking that made the TV show popular, and the villains are grotesque; but they're just shrieking punching bags. But the thought that Turbo is basically "the next generation" of Power Rangers is enough send chills up any parent's back. That's why kids love them so. --Keith Simanton